I know ponme did. U had 2 know I wuz going 2 have something 2 say about this shit. If U are new here, and U have never experienced one of my blogs, just go ahead and take a seat. Yeah…why don’t U buckle that seatbelt there, champ? U might wanna pour Urself a stiff one. It’s gonna get bumpy. Some of U might want 2 get up off of a stiff one…looking4now and Sunshine79 have been rumored 2 have some experience with stiff ones, and although I cannot attest 4 this myself, I am digging N2 this story and will bring U breaking news as it happens! Back 2 U in the studio, Bob!
What the fuck wuz I talking about? It seemed important when I sat down 2 write this fucking thing. I gotta quit these fucking purples. This shit can’t be good 4 me. Let’s see…drinking…bumpy…stiff one…oh yeah! Anna Nicole Smith! Fucking Anna Nicole Smith died. What a trip, huh? Just goes 2 show U what can happen when U mix huge amounts of cocaine and heroin with TrimSpa. That fuckin TrimSpa will kill U every time!
Cuz U know it wuzn’t the heroin. I think it iz safe 2 say this bitch wuz a functioning, if somewhat dysfunctional, addict 4 awhile B4 she died. Well…mostly functional. There wuz a slight malfunction during the AMAs one year when the bitch started 2 nod out on stage. Oh, and who could 4get her 
stunning outfit at the Australian Mtv Awards that one year right after she got skinny again. That wuz classic. And that new body? I’m here 2 tell U TrimSpa didn’t have shit 2 do with it. I used the term “skinny” loosely. I seen this shit B4. It wuz a lot closer 2 sucked up. U don’t get sucked up from a diet aid. U get sucked up from a crack pipe.
Besides, Anna Nicole had been exhibiting crack head behavior 4 at least a few months B4 getting knocked up last year. U know what I’m talking about. The constant fidgeting, the rambling sentences that always seemed 2 end with “TrimSpa, baby!” and she would get that 
look in her eye…like she dropped something. Wanting 2 get down and look through the carpet B4 someone steps on the shit, all the time thinking 2 herself, ‘I wonder if anyone would miss this umbrella? Carlos’ brother 
And she wuz a fine motherfucker 2, baby! Vicki started out cute as a kid, but that wuz nothing compared 2 what fame and plastic surgery would soon bring her way…but she had 2 get the fuck out of Pisswater, Texas B4 anything wuz ever gonna happen. Soon as she left Pisswater and got some goofy white dude with 2 much money 2 buy her some titties Anna Nicole wuz born. The rest iz history. Playboy Magazine covers, a stint as the Guess Girl, Playmate of the Year. She wuz a classic Hollywood Beauty, cut from the same cloth as Marilyn Monroe and Jayne Mansfield. Destined, it almost seems, 4 a similar fate.
But B4 life wuz through with Anna Nicole it had 2 finish up with J. Howard Hunt. 
He wuz a Texas oil billionaire who must have done something right, cuz life chose 2 let him spend his last few shriveled years between that bitch’s thighs and that’s a spot any guy would love 2 have. A fucking gay guy would have been like, “Oh…I didn’t know U wuz talking about Anna Nicole. Yeah…she’s fine as fuck! I’ll take a little pussy.” so can’t nobody say shit about J. Howard on that one! Matter of fact…U might want 2 write that down. It’s on the final. If U are ninety fucking years old and U got the bread, fuck paying 4 a 
private nurse! Get Urself a ho! Think about it. Every fucking picture I ever seen of that old man he wuz grinning like a motherfucker! Looking like, “That’s right…I’m hitting that. I give a fuck if I get it up, cuz I’m rubbing my face all up in it, nigga! Here, smell my cheek!” I know that’s what that motherfucker wuz thinking. That’s what I’d have been thinking, anyway.
But then the old dude died and fools started tripping cuz he left the bitch all his ends. Trying 2 say she made the shit up. Bullshit. That motherfucker knew he couldn’t take that money with him. He probably told her, “Bitch, U suck this shriveled ass pecker till I die and U can have all that shit. I give a fuck about that money, I need my dick sucked.” And he wuz also probably nice 2 her when he wuzn’t trying 2 get her 2 suck his dick. So she figured what’s two, maybe three years with one shriveled up dick compared 2 how many mot
herfuckers trying 2 fuck her in Hollywood? Seemed like a good deal 2 her. And it seems very fucking plausible 2 me. So 2 deny her the money afterward wuz just plain wrong. U don’t keep a bitch’s money after she done turnt the trick! That’s just fucked up. U ruin it 4 everybody doing that shit.
But eventually the courts agreed with J. Howard’s sniveling brat of a kid, who J. Howard didn’t even like, he wuz so fucked up. Remember this iz the same man smart enough 2 get Anna Nicole Smith 2 suck his shriveled ass dick without having 2 pay her up front. U really think he didn’t have the mental capacity 2 decide he wuzn’t giving the money 2 his kid 4 a reason? Even if that reason iz 2 get her 2 suck his dick that’s reason enough! It’s his motherfucking money! I’m telling U right now if I make it 2 ninety and I got fifty bucks left I’m buying some pussy! Let alone I got J. Howard money! I got J. Howard money I’ll tell my kid,“Nigga, I ain’t leaving U shit! U see me rollin with this harem, nigga! What U think? Pussy grows on trees? Hugh Hefner can’t even fade my shit, nigga! Check this out…this iz Candi, Mandi, Randi and Sandi….quadruplets, nigga! Who wants some Dick now, motherfuckers?” Throwing up that W. Knocking back forties. It’s on like Donkey Kong. I got that kinda money I’ll be an old fool, that’s 4 damned sure!
But even though she didn’t get the money, U have 2 admit she led a charmed life. In addition 2 everything I already mentioned and more, she went on 2 get really fucking big. Both on television and in real life. Despite the fact that she pretty much let herself go when her career as a
At least she had the good sense 2 get paid up front that time.
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