ONE MORE REASON 2 QUIT USING DOPE...

I have always questioned the usefulness of the internet when it comes 2 making actual person-2-person contact with another human being. No...I'm not talking about cybersex with Ur long distance BF over webcam and telephone, but actual contact with another member of our species. I had heard stories of online freinds who had decided 4 whatever reason they had of their own 2 take that relationship 2 the next level and meet offline and in person, but I never really believed it. I figured it wuz just another hustle, U know?

I mean, sure...a motherfucker who wants 2 spend $100 can meet a bitch online. In fact, if U are in the neighborhood U can meet this bitch right here - I can hook a motherfucker up right now if he iz finna spend, shit...

But what of the elusive bitch who actually fucks 4 free? What of this magnificent creature? I know that she exists, cuz my neighbor iz one. She meets these cats on MySpace and fucks the shit out of them. It sucks...I've really been trying 2 hit that 4 I don't even want 2 think about how long now. About fifteen seconds less than the amount of time I have known her, I'm guessing...

Then (out of the fucking blue, I might add...) what do U know? I fucking met one of my own! How about that shit? Just when I wuz ready 2 4get all about the shit and chalk it up 2 other motherfuckers luck, what happens but I meet a freak of my own! Cold trippin, huh? I met this little blonde bitch who lives like two miles away and wants 2 get 2gether and have a drink and a screw on Friday! And the bitch iz serious 2, I think. How else 2 explain these? Its been my experience that bitches who dont want 2 fuck dont send out pics such as these, do they?

I am actually going 2 ask her if she would like 2 be a SlipperyBitch. I know a couple of chicks I think I am going 2 ask. I am planning 2 ask my neighbor Lori, my freak friend Lori and also my friend Destiny. I would ask my homegirl Carrie 2 do it (cuz she iz FINE as FUCK - See above...), but I really do believe it would radically alter our relationship in ways I can't even begin 2 comprehend. Mostly it would just fuck shit up 2 the point that it would no longer be cool 2 just hang out with a bitch the way I do now. U see...we have reached a really neat spot in our friendship. I understand that she NEVER fucks unless she iz getting paid and she understands that I NEVER pay 4 pussy. Since we have that mutual respect 4 eachother's game it keeps us from having I wanna fuck U issues croping up all the goddamn time, not unlike how they do with her lovely assistant, Destiny (I'm just playing...I get ZERO action from either one of these bitches. Why iz that? Simple...they iz 100% tried and true hos and I am not now nor ever a fucking trick! Nuff said...

Back on my other subject, though...I am hoping that my first posting of 2008 will have my first SlipperyBitch layout! The model iz already online and ready 2 go, and not only that but she iz actually excited about it herself! CAN U BELIEVE THAT SHIT? Not only that, my nasty little cumcatchers, but I have already got girl number two lined up and I am working on number three as we speak. Or rather, as I write and U read. If I can get this local bitch 2 go 4 it then it will be all good up until almost summertime (assuming of course that I run one girl a month...)!!!

I guess thats gonna have 2 do it 4 this post. Keep checking back, though! U nevknow what kind of crazy fucking shit I am going 2 come up with next!

Kisses

Tits or Ass...U decide 08

I fucking love titties. Oh, don't get me wrong...I love getting that ass as well, but nothing beats a great set of juicy tits! That's not 2 say that a great ass duzn't have a thing or two going 4 it. Don't go putting words in my mouth, now!

Speaking of putting things in my mouth, I am supposed 2 be debuting my very first SlipperyBitch with my next posting, but I haven't been able 2 touch base with any of my models! I even sent one of them something 2 wear in the pictures, but do U think it did me any good? Fuck no, it didn't!

So, assuming that these bitches haven't all bailed on me at once, I should be posting some original titty pics soon! Not that I necessarily mind posting anonymous pictures of naked fat chicks on my blog, it's just a lot more fun when U know the tits in question. It just so happens I have several candidates at the moment, none of whom resemble any of these bitches.

So come check it out in a day or two or three...U know, wheneverthefuck I get around 2 it. Be patient...I have 2 be...

WTF iz Wrong With This Motherfucker?

I spent the other night thinking about big ass titties and how 2 get my mouth on them (yeah yeah - so fucking what that she don't dig white boys...). Those aren't her titties, anyway. Not that I have anything against someone having a boob job. Hell...at least that motherfucker gots a job, right?

Definitely Not an Outfit 4 a Rainy Day...

I fucking LOVE body painting. It just duz it 4 me, whatthefuckever that iz supposed 2 mean. Half the time I don't even know what I'm talking about. Seriously...right now, I don't even know where I am. Where am I? Who are U people and WTF are U doing inside my HEAD?

There are different types of body painting, and all of them are kind of cool. 2 the left iz the type where they make it look like clothing, which Demi Moore made popular with her Vanity Faire cover shots. 2 the right are some of the more artsy-fartsy types of body painting, which are also very cool, but a bit less functional (I say that as if any of this shit iz functional..). Well, I really don't know how functional a painted-on French Maid's outfit iz, but I think U get my meaning. If I mean anything at all by that. Do I ever mean anything? What iz the meaning of that? What iz the meaning of any of it?

I wuz actually planning 2 talk about something real this time...U can see how that worked out 4 me. But if U wanted real I doubt U would be reading this, would U? That would be like reading L. Ron Hubbard 4 spiritual enlightenment or something (FUCK! There goes my Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes interview. I soooo wanted 2 know what would possess a motherfucker 2 name his kid after a pig call, but what can U do? Now I guess I'll just have 2 settle 4 the Pablo Cruise/Larry Holmes interview I have been putting off...).

But now I am just being silly, so I guess I will just stop it now B4 I get totally stupid. Yeah, I know, I know...it iz WAY 2 late 4 that. I should have worried about that long B4 I ever actually sat down in front of a fucking computer 2 begin with. Oh well...I made my bed, now I just need 2 find someone willing 2 lay down in it with me. Any volunteers?

...and Onward We Go!!!

And they will remember that this iz how the second hundred began...








So, I met another chick online the other day. Well, sorta...I added her 2 my Yahoo! Messenger account (So we can see eachother online...yeah!). She iz some self described "big ass black bitch". WOW...I don't even know what 2 think about that. My mind races when I consider all the possibilities which lie within the grasp of that fucking idea. But (going strictly off of my track record with luck, BTW) I would be willing 2 bet U that the woman in question looks a lot closer 2 this...












Than she duz 2 this



















...or this?


What would be nice iz if I could meet a real sweet girl who could do this kinda shit right here - U would think she'd pull a fucking muscle, huh?

Instead...I keep ending up with this bitch right here. WTF? Yeah...so I'm attracted 2 crazy, so what? Some guys like redheads, some cats dig blondes and I loves me a crazy fucking bitch. Don't know why, it's just one of those things that I have learned 2 accept about myself.

But, it could be worse. I used 2 be married 2 this bitch right here! OMG...if I could only get back the money I spent on Miwaukee's Best beer when I wuz in my early twenties! My God, me and Caitlin's mom must have drank thousands of cases of that shit. That and Strogh's, cuz it came in an 18-pack (they were WAY ahead of the curve on that one, I gotta tell U). Funny story regarding Strogh's 18-packs of beer. I went with a buddy of mine 2 visit another friend who wuz attending Chico State. This wuz like 1990 or so, and they still had what they called Pioneer Days open 2 the general public (Nowadaze only CSU students and alumni are invited 2 attend the festivities...). Anyways...long story short...My friend and I spent that Saturday perched atop a newspaper vending machine and a mailbox in the center of Chico watching what turned N2 a full-blown riot take place! It wuz fucking crazy. Eventually, the cops had 2 come and bust the fucking thing up, but luckily we had the good sense 2 be gone by then. A bunch of people were arrested and even more just got the shit kicked out of them by the Chico Police Department. As a result THE POWERS THAT BE cancelled Pioneer Days 4 like the next two years or some shit. But, it really wuz pretty fucking intense 4 a minute...

But all I'm saying iz it would be so much better if instead of this bitch...

I could meet this one!

Ricks100thfknBlog!!!

I sooo fucking hate milestones. I feel like they age me. Lord knows I don't need any help with aging. I seem 2 be doing a bang up job as it iz. But it turns out that some milestones do have an upside. I mean, c'mon now...how the hell else could I have gotten beautiful women from all over the country 2 write my name on their naked bodies and send me the pics?

100 fucking blogs...it's hard 2 believe. I realize 2 those of U who have read my 270 some odd blogs over on AMD that 100 blogs may seem a little...well...little. But, what U may be failing 2 realize iz that B4 I stumbled upon my adopted home over on AMD, I began my blogging career right here on Blogger. We had just moved 2 the Bay Area, and it wuz my way of keeping touch with my friends back here in Sacramento.




So, yes...I decided 2 make this a big fucking deal. Why the hell not? If I don't do it, then who will? That's right...no one will. And when U consider the submissions I actually received, U can see why it had 2 be done.

I can't post all of them. That would be ridiculous. What I can (and will) do iz post the best of the best. I'm not going 2 identify the ladies who sent them 2 me, however. Unless U are lucky enough 2 recognize them Urself, U are just going 2 have 2 wonder who they are along with the rest. I am going 2 make one exception 2 that rule. This picture here wuz sent 2 me by my smart-ass friend Deanna, who I'm sure just giggled her motherfucking ass off the whole time...

Well, thanks 4 sticking around as long as



U have, and if this iz Ur first time reading one of my blogs then STOP READING THIS IMMEDIATELY AND MOVE AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER! Trust me...U will be better off 4 it.

Are U fucking serious?

I really gotta quit telling on myself. I mean, just becuz I may have the idea that I might want 2 engage in a particular activity with a certain somebody duz not fucking mean I have 2 advertise the shit all over the fucking internet, right? It's not as if it iz making my life any goddamn easier when my wife fucking reads my shit and realizes I am trying 2 fuck these bitches. In fact, thats pretty much all fucking bad, now that I think about it

So...I digress. Rather than conduct myself in the manner by which I have become accustomed, I intend 2 take the high road. I know that it iz the high road, becuz I spend all of my time on it rather high. And since I'm high anyway, I suppose it won't much matter if I smoke some more, eh?

Don't get me wrong...I still intend 2 seduce Lori. Probably Barbi and Megan as well, if I can ever get 2 wherever the fuck they are. I know Megan iz near fucking Disney World somewhere. Hey - maybe I will get lucky and she will do me on Space Mountain! I have always wanted 2 be banned from the Magic Kingdom 4 lewd behavior. Perhaps this lovely lady iz my ticket 2 achieving that one small dream...

What a trip

Turns out that in between trying 2 seduce Lori, dodge Kymmi and hide from Corina, I somehow managed 2 find the time 2 meet a Russian bitch! This izn't a picture of her, but she wuz a cute little motherfucker, let me tell U. I'm considering asking her 2 teach me some Russian phrases...um...no good can come from this, but it sure duz seem like fun!

I still seriously intend 2 get a picture of Lori that iz TOTALLY innappropriate and post it on here. I want her taking a shower, or sunbathing or some damned thing!

I think it iz fucking hilarious that I am having such a hard time getting one chick 2 pose 4 me! If this bitch only knew how many other women have been PLEASED AS PUNCH 2 show up on my blog naked. Hell...naked and pissing, 4 that matter! Whatever U got...we can take it, yo!

U see...I am ok with the fact that I am a weirdo. I am assuming most of U are ok with it 2, cuz why the hell else would U still be reading this garbage otherwise? Unless...U are doing it 4 the tits! God knows I am. In fact, it would mean so very much 2 me if U would send me a shot of Ur own! Just shoot Ur titty or ass flash pic 2 my email and I will post whichever ones I get right here! Oh, boy...that really sounds like fun! How iz it possible that I can be so honest and so fucking full of shit at the same fucking time? What a fucking dichotomy, huh?

And this just proves I will take any kind of titty U have 4 me, but make no mistake. This iz an actual attempt at seducing that fucking bitch. I want in her panties so bad I can taste it...yum! I have also got two other hotties I know in my sights, and I am actually attempting some shit with these women...

The first iz a red-hot redhead from Michigan that makes me want 2 scream, and the other iz this fucking bitch who lives in Florida and still manages 2 drive me crazy on a regular basis. If she ever dumps that Italian sausage she's been shacking up with I really could go spend a week or two with her...a week or two all up in her business, so 2 speak!

I guess thats all. Come get some, girlies!