So, as of press time anyway, CLASSIFIED and CLASSIFIED are having a CLASSIFIED. Well, CLASSIFIED’s CLASSIFIED is all. Maybe…she don’t want 2 take a fucking pee test or go 2 the doctor or some shit like that. No, why would she want 2 do that when leaving us in fucking LIMBO is so much more entertaining. U would think she would at least let us know whether or not 2 be happy for her, but apparently we are keeping that tight under wraps as well. As for the news out of CLASSIFIED’s camp, well it’s not good. The nigga has apparently disappeared. Gone AWOL, over the fence, flew the coop. Said he ain’t waiting on the results of no test he never studied for anyway and was up and gone. Last known whereabouts was up in a nearby bush…if spotted approach with caution…initial reports place subject as SOBER which means he is most likely already irritated before U come along fucking with him… Hopefully this nigga understands I'm just fucking with him and don't come after me with a fucking pistol or some such shit. I've heard the motherfucker was craZy...yeah, no shit fucking loco...U know I'm just playin...having some fun with your craZy ass...
Sometimes I go of on these tangents and I really don’t know where the shit comes from. I saw this fucking fight last night on HBO between Winky Wright and This other motherfucker who I can’t remember his name even though he’s the undisputed middleweight champion of the world but anyway…I saw this fight and these two motherfucker’s beat the living shit out of one another! It was fucking great! It went the distance and was called a draw…which I actually agreed with. Wright gave him a good fight, but U have 2 beat the champ decisively 2 get that belt and I didn’t feel he had done that. It was a great fight, though. I’m looking forward 2 the rematch. I think that the champ realizes now that he can be beaten, a concept previously foreign 2 him whereas Winky may have missed his opportunity 2 become champ. I don’t think so, though. I didn’t think anyone could stand there and take the pounding that he took for 12 fucking rounds so that shows U right there I don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about.
I can’t fucking believe I am just now mentioning this!!! The other day when we went back 2 SaCRAPmento I was just sitting there at my mom’s house, when out of the fucking blue I get a call from Kirsten. I couldn’t fucking believe it. It was the first time I had spoken 2 her in like 5 years, I think. It was cool. She’s going 2 school 2 become a wedding planner and she lives in her own apartment with a boy she has known since 8th grade but they’ve only been 2gether 4 eighteen months but they are in love, and she works at some fucking cosmetics store…not Ulta, but the other one…and she sounded beautiful and I couldn’t believe my ears when I heard her voice. So, what do I do? I fucking lie 2 her right out of the gate (I mention this only because I intend 2 correct it immediately next time I speak 2 her.). She caught me off guard. She said something about having called like a month ago and I put it off on my dad for having not given me the message when the truth is that I’m a fucking chickenshit who couldn’t figure out what 2 say 2 this person I so badly want 2 have a conversation with, so I just kept procrastinating calling her until she finally called me back, but it wasn't I swear 2 god that I didn't want 2 talk 2 U becuz I did then and I do now and every chance I get!!!…
Regret sucks. There isn’t much I regret about my life, and not much I can do about that which I do regret. Now, if I could only locate her little sister…wow! Wouldn’t that be something? I might have 2 deal with Caitlin’s mother, though. God knows I’m 2 big of a chickenshit 2 do that. Never mind the fact that it’s been almost 15 fucking years. Never mind the fact that I have CLASSIFIED,
and no one could ask for a better woman. A better lover. A better friend. I’m a lucky motherfucker 2 have her. That’s without considering how badly of a fuckup I am! I’m an astoundingly lucky fellow! What the fuck do I have 2 fear from that inbred, hillbilly bitch who couldn’t keep her legs shut if U wrapped them with a fucking bungee cord…this fucking white trash, psychobabble junkie I happened 2 have had a child with on purpose. Something like that. What’s the deeleeoh?
Fuck! I’m almost out of pot (If U would like 2 contribute 2 the Keep RickmthafknStoned Fund, please contact through e-mail. Thank U 4 your continued support.). I hate it when I’m almost out of pot. Plus, my weed guy is calling me up whining cuz I owe him 30 measly ass dollars. How U gonna whine over 30 dollars? Especially when U were up her talking about how this bitch owes U nine hun last fucking week? Oh, I see…these bitches can owe U all this fucking money but U gotta call me up and whine about 30 dollars. Then bring up some shit that I don’t even remember as a motherfucking loan. U fucking came over to this motherfucker and paid for services rendered. Admittedly, U didn’t receive the posted discount, but that offer is subject 2 necessity and has since been rescinded anyhow…I suppose I should call him. Eventually, I’m going 2 have 2 deal with his ass…That don’t mean I gotta like it, though, does it? I told my sister about this blog. I don’t know why, exactly, except that maybe I’m a fucking masochist. I do think, however, that telling her is having the unintended side effect of keeping me somewhat reeled in…keeping me from going completely off the deep end and putting it all fucking out there. I mean, I think I’ve been pretty fucking good about keeping everything on the under, but if U know me I suppose it isn’t that hard 2 read between the lines. So what am I saying? Am I saying that I don’t think my sister knows me? Or am I saying I don’t give a fuck if my sister knows what I’m doing (I don’t, I don’t think…I’m not quite sure. I don’t know...maybe I’ll get back 2 U on that!)? Whichever it is I doubt she going 2 check it out anyway. Doesn’t seem 2 be CLASSIFIED’s gig 2 me.
I’ve been kinda going through it the last two days or so. It all started when CLASSIFIED called the other day and said she was doing bad and wanted 2 know could we send her some money. Then, come 2 find out CLASSIFIED talked 2 her 2day and told her she knew she had some of her shit and she wasn’t giving her her money until she returned it. I don’t know if she has the shit or not, but CLASSIFIED said she saw it so that means it was there. I do know that I don’t want 2 be used as anyone’s definitive proof of someone else’s guilt. That’s a fucked up spot 2 be in when U want 2 be there…so U can imagine…
(So, I write the shit 2 fucking small, huh? How's this, then? Are U pleased that I've made my little note 2 U more...shall we say elder-friendly? Yes...I quite like that one. Now, go on in there and put on that dress I bought ya. No, no the red one...)
