James Munson 1953-2008

My best friend died yesterday. I hadn't known him very long - less than a year, actually, but in that time he really made an impact on me. We hung out a lot. We smoked a lot of weed 2gether. We watched a lot of westerns and he wuz in a lot of pain. That part iz finally over. I am glad 4 that.

The cancer finally managed 2 do what the North Vietnamese couldn't , and Jim passed away last night. I wish I had known him B4 he wuz sick, but I am 4ever thankful that I had the good 4tune 2 meet him and become his friend. I'm gonna miss U, Boss.

                                                                                                    

                                                                                                    

Duz it still count az an epiphany if I completely ignore it?

I probably smoke 2 much weed. I know I watch 2 much fucking porn. Shit...that's not even a secret. Az a matter of fact, my predisposition 2wards porn iz probably what caused my kid 2 become of fucking porno freak.

We first noticed her interest in adult materials when she wuz maybe nine years old. All of my fucking porno tapes disappeared one day and were discovered hidden in this fucking kid's room down with all the Barney tapes and shit like that. Fucking trip...right? We didn't know WTF 2 do.

But I figured it wuz probably normal behavior and since no real harm had been done we decided 2 ignore it. This iz the part of the story where U realize the kid iz a fucking freak behind this porno shit, not just some normal chick that digs porn. We take all our shit back from the kid, right? But we don't say anything, becuz we have no idea what 2 fucking say. Think about it...the kid didn't just have some porn. The kid had some of MY porn.

That's right...RicksmthafknPorn. We're talking guys doing guys...trannys...midgets...U fucking name it I have video of someone doing it. U look hard enough U may even find video of me doing it. This iz the shit the kid has been watching, probably thinking iz normal porn, right? I mean, what duz she have 2 compare it 2? And U know she's turning all her little girlfriends on2 the shit and they're all going 2 school and telling the little boys they know what it looks like when a girl buttfucks a boy and all kinds of other crazy fucking shit! It's only a matter of time until some grownups catch wind of this bullshit

and string me up by the motherfucking balls.

Fucking Christ on a unicycle what am I going 2 do with this bitch? So we take all the porn out of her room and figure it'll all just blow over right? Maybe we caught it in time B4 2 much damage had been done. All we have 2 do iz let nature takes it's course and all will work out in the end.

Now...I really believe that had any other fucking kid on the planet come home from school and went 2 their secret porn stash spot and discovered all their booty GONE would freak the fuck out. They would probably piss themselves waiting 4 the beating, right?

Not my kid...nope. What duz this bitch do? She goes back N2 my room and steals the shit right back! Like I wuz the one who took her shit without asking or some shit. Only this time (just 2 teach me a lesson, I guess) she gets N2 the old lady's toybox and takes a few vibrators and a couple dildos. I find the motherfuckers along with the movies, well hidden this time, stashed in the back of her closet.

OK - at this point any good parent would sit their child down and find out WTF wuz going on, right? Not me...no fucking way. What did I do...I ignored it again. Well...it worked so well 4 me the first time I thought 4 sure it wuz a winner this time. The truth iz I wuz fucking TRIPPING on why the fuck this little girl kept getting N2 my shit. I don't even want 2 think about what one of her slumber parties wuz like...it makes feel like I need a shower. But we took the shit away again and this time hid it very well, up high in the back of my closet. Problem solved, right?

Wrong! A couple of weeks later my brother starts bitching that someone got N2 his shit and ripped off his porn. I'm thinking, 'no fucking way.' Sure az shit, we find my brother's porn stashed in her room. She had gotten N2 his bag, got at his software, found the porn, stole it and hid it in her room amidst a bunch of Spice Girls and N'Sync CDs. OMFG - this little bitch iz off the fucking chain! Why couldn't I have met this bitch in High School? Why duz she have 2 be my fucking daughter, 4 Christ's sake? Iz this somehow connected 2 my own karma? Iz this proof that there iz a God after all and that the bitch hates me?

I still can't figure out a way 2 talk 2 her about this shit. That's whats really sad about this whole debacle. Even if I do bring it up (not the porno thing. I'm taking that shit 2 the grave without mentioning it first) - sex, just 2 clarify, she either lies 2 me or just tells me whatever the fuck she thinks I want 2 hear. Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice I'm over here trying 2 impart some wisdom on the bitch - U know, peep her 2 some game, right? Only this fucking bitch duzn't want 2 listen. Turns out she's one of these motherfuckers who thinks she knows everything. The problem with people who think they know everything iz that they never take the time 2 learn anything. They don't think it's necessary, cuz they already know everything, see?

I've noticed that their biggest problem (young women in general, not just my daughter) iz that they have this preconceived notion of what their man should be, and it iz usually a million fucking miles away from reality. Then they go find some cat (usually cuz they think he iz hot) and they try 2 force him N2 the mold they already have built up in their imagination. Rarely duz the man fit. Sometimes he iz pliable enough 2 sorta fit, and other times he may even grow 2 keep that shape, but those cases are rare indeed. I think it usually takes until around 30 B4 bitches catch on that men will be men regardless of what their bitch thinks about it.

Men fuck around, and then they lie about it 2 keep from having 2 deal with getting caught. It duzn't much matter if we are talking about some slob who works 4 the city or the President of the United States. This iz what they do. And believe it or not, it makes a whole lot less difference what a bitch looks like than it duz whether or not she will do something NASTY that he wants 2 do. An ugly bitch who sucks cock will always have more dates than a pretty bitch who duzn't. That's just the way of the universe.

But, maybe that'll be in my next blog.

Another one of those daze...

I got hollered at 4 posting those pictures of Kari and Destiny on my blog the other day. This bitch wuz actually acting like I really wuz going remove those pics! She must be new here, cuz otherwise she'd already be knowing that I don't give up that dirt once I gots it on ya!!

Besides, I really am of the opinion that if U want me 2 remove something I've already  posted, then U had best have something ready 4 me 2 replace it with. U can't just tell me 2 take that shit off my blog. WTF am I supposed 2 do with the space that wuz once occupied with Ur pics? Post pics of myself jerking off?

I certainly think there have been more than enough of those up on the internet 2 last a lifetime already, so I see no real need 2 post anymore of them. Between CraigsList, sfredbook and whatever freak site I happened 2 have both joined and filled out my profile 4, there really are enough pics of my cock on the internet 2 fucking saturate the curiosity of anyone willing 2 actually go looking 4 them.

But the idea of somebody looking at my picture and jerking off (the way I have been known 2 do a time or two over some bitch I dl'd off the WWW) iz completely alien 2 me. How can I say nobody ever tossed on off on my head shot? That's a completely ludicrous statement. How the fuck am I supposed 2 know some shit like that? Would it surprise me 2 find out someone has? Sure it would. Iz it ever going 2 happen? Assuming that I can manage 2 stay out of prison, I would have 2 say probably not.

I wuz actually pretty fucking good at jerking off when I wuz a younger fellow. I even entertained thoughts of going pro 4 awhile...I wuz that good at it. I played with my pecker constantly. Not a minute went by that I didn't have my hand in my crotch, massaging my dick...U know...practicing?

I can remember daze when I would be going at it 4 hours on end, never allowing myself that sweet release until absolutely necessary. Then, once it did come, it would shoot across the fucking room! The shit would literally shoot like eight 2 ten feet across the fucking room! I thought I wuz a fucking RainBird sprinkler or something. I would have been all the fucking rage in gay porn, I must say.

But that's the thing right there. Sure...I could have made a little scratch making gay porn, but when I wuz young enough 2 actually do such a thing I wuzn't mentally able 2 get my head around the idea of homosexual sex...let alone filming it! I couldn't allow myself anywhere around that fucking scene! I wuz like a homophobe on Human Growth Hormones. I couldn't allow myself 2 be spotted hanging out with a bunch of fags! If someone were 2 recognize me? HOLY SHIT!

But az I got older my views on such things mellowed quite a bit. I am not only not really bothered by queers, the argument could be made that I am one of them. 4 $200 U can see what I am talking about. 

And I think I have already said more than enough!