But it’s a mild insanity, so there is no need for alarm. U don’t have 2 call out the volunteer fire department. Just leave the men in the funny suits carrying the butterfly nets alone 4 the time being. It’s not as if I am about 2 start frothing at the mouth and eating Ur daughters…well, maybe if they’re cute…
I fucking hate the video game The Sims. I don’t really know why, but 4 some reason it makes me feel homicidal. I think part of it is becuz I’m convinced that it fucks up every computer it comes N2 contact with. But it also gives someone else (AKA Alexandria the Irritating Gnome) a reason 2 park herself in front of the computer I use 4 up 2 16 hours at a time. Besides, I know the little bitch has a Sim of me and that freaks me out 2 no end. I don’t know…it’s like some kind of voodoo thing.
So anyway, Kimondownandplaythepriceisright buys the kid this evil game last year. As soon as the opportunity presented itself…I stole it and hid it. I didn’t get rid of it, though…becuz that would be wrong. Instead, I hid it away in a box, deep in the closet and very high up, so as 2 keep it out of kimdancingitsonlynatural’s reach. I had hidden it so well that the one time I did go looking 4 it I couldn’t find it. I thought it wuz gone 4ever.
Apparently it wuzn’t hidden near as well as I had thought, becuz Kimcloserdearicantseeu found it the other day and gave it 2 the kid. The kid installed it on the computer. She’s in there as I write this…Simming me. I know it. I know how she is. She’s fucked up on a deep emotional level. I know this becuz I’m the one who fucked her up! And now…the monster has come home…
So anyway, I wake up 2day and Alex is on the computer…Simming. I get instantly pissed off. First,at the fact that they found it at all, then at myself 4 not destroying it when I had the chance. I start thinking about how Kimgetsome hates the band the Beastie Boys. I happen 2 think they are musical geniuses. This is an example of a typical exchange between us on the subject:
Beastie Boys playing at very low level
Her: Uhhgh! What is that noise!
Me: It’s the new Beastie Boys cut.
Her: Well turn it off. It’s making me sick.
Me: Whatever.
Her: I’m serious. I think I’m going 2 be sick.
Me: How about if I turn it so low that only dogs and certain varieties of mollusk can hear it?
Sounds of vomiting coming from other room
Her: If U think that will work.
Me: Well, how about I just turn it off?
Her: Ok…but only if U want 2.
What the hell wuz that? What the fuck happened? I don’t know. I have no fucking clue! The woman is a fucking trip. But I turned it off and that’s what counts, right?
Wrong! I mean…I go 2 all these lengths 2 avoid this abomination (keep in mind…she has no idea I stole the damned thing. Why? Becuz if she did she would have me committed, that’s why…) and what does she do? Turn around and give it 2 the enemy…that’s what!
So I’m sitting there thinking 2 myself that I really have 2 leave this uncaring, self-absorbed bitch (again…doesn’t know I stole it…doesn’t know I hid it…nothing.) when it occurs 2 me that it isn’t even my computer. What the hell am I all pissed off about?
I fucking hate the video game The Sims. I don’t really know why, but 4 some reason it makes me feel homicidal. I think part of it is becuz I’m convinced that it fucks up every computer it comes N2 contact with. But it also gives someone else (AKA Alexandria the Irritating Gnome) a reason 2 park herself in front of the computer I use 4 up 2 16 hours at a time. Besides, I know the little bitch has a Sim of me and that freaks me out 2 no end. I don’t know…it’s like some kind of voodoo thing.
So anyway, Kimondownandplaythepriceisright buys the kid this evil game last year. As soon as the opportunity presented itself…I stole it and hid it. I didn’t get rid of it, though…becuz that would be wrong. Instead, I hid it away in a box, deep in the closet and very high up, so as 2 keep it out of kimdancingitsonlynatural’s reach. I had hidden it so well that the one time I did go looking 4 it I couldn’t find it. I thought it wuz gone 4ever.
Apparently it wuzn’t hidden near as well as I had thought, becuz Kimcloserdearicantseeu found it the other day and gave it 2 the kid. The kid installed it on the computer. She’s in there as I write this…Simming me. I know it. I know how she is. She’s fucked up on a deep emotional level. I know this becuz I’m the one who fucked her up! And now…the monster has come home…
So anyway, I wake up 2day and Alex is on the computer…Simming. I get instantly pissed off. First,at the fact that they found it at all, then at myself 4 not destroying it when I had the chance. I start thinking about how Kimgetsome hates the band the Beastie Boys. I happen 2 think they are musical geniuses. This is an example of a typical exchange between us on the subject:
Beastie Boys playing at very low level
Her: Uhhgh! What is that noise!
Me: It’s the new Beastie Boys cut.
Her: Well turn it off. It’s making me sick.
Me: Whatever.
Her: I’m serious. I think I’m going 2 be sick.
Me: How about if I turn it so low that only dogs and certain varieties of mollusk can hear it?
Sounds of vomiting coming from other room
Her: If U think that will work.
Me: Well, how about I just turn it off?
Her: Ok…but only if U want 2.
What the hell wuz that? What the fuck happened? I don’t know. I have no fucking clue! The woman is a fucking trip. But I turned it off and that’s what counts, right?
Wrong! I mean…I go 2 all these lengths 2 avoid this abomination (keep in mind…she has no idea I stole the damned thing. Why? Becuz if she did she would have me committed, that’s why…) and what does she do? Turn around and give it 2 the enemy…that’s what!
So I’m sitting there thinking 2 myself that I really have 2 leave this uncaring, self-absorbed bitch (again…doesn’t know I stole it…doesn’t know I hid it…nothing.) when it occurs 2 me that it isn’t even my computer. What the hell am I all pissed off about?
