I have been sitting here 4 the past 30 minutes trying 2 think of a way 2 express what it iz I am feeling right now. I start writing, get maybe three or four lines deep and then I erase whatever I have and start again (Talk about a fucking HOOT! Like I really couldn't have found a more productive way 2 spend my Saturday than this)! This has been going on 4 hours now. I'm getting a little tired of it.
The truth iz that I'm not very bright. Which iz really funny becuz the last time I took an IQ test I scored GENIUS. I can tell U what the square root of the square root of 99 iz, what the capital of Montana iz or even explain WTF iambic pentameter really iz. I can freestyle haiku, bitch, and I aint even Japanese. What now?
And yet, I just can't seem 2 get it through my fucking head that my woman iz going 2 split if I don't start leaving these other bitches alone. She iz going 2 pack her shit and be gone. I can already see the fucking note. "So long, dickhead, I still love ya but I'm not going 2 be the one who takes care of U anymore. Get one of Ur bitches 2 do it, genius!" And then she will be gone 4 the very last time. FUCK!
I love my wife, I really do. I think she iz smart, sexy and she can fuck the living daylights out of me. Regardless of all of that I still find myself with this overwhelming desire 2 go find some strange. 2 combat this I try 2 do the majority of my flirting online with bitches who are thousands of miles away from me. I figure that I stand a much better chance that way of being able 2 ignore the Siren's song and avoid being smashed 2 bits on the rocks that surround her pussy. If U have 2 ask me why she has rocks in her pussy, then I am afraid that this conversation will be officially over and done with.
Most recently I found myself chatting up some foxy black chick that seemed genuinely interested in getting sticky with me. The problem wuz that she actually lives here in town, so I have 2 believe that the urge 2 hit that shit would eventually overwhelm my desire 2 remain faithful. It always has in the past, anyway. Why should now be any different?
Then I wuz talking 2 this other black girl who wuz wanting me 2 come over and drink with her. That's her deal...she iz a drunk. She iz also somewhere in the neighborhood of 300 pounds. But she wants 2 fuck me 2. She duzn't want 2 want 2, but trust me...if I wuz alone with that bitch drinking Im sure I would end up fucking her. Cuz I don't mind the fact that she iz 300 pounds. That's going 2 be a shitload of titties and ass and U can't never get 2 much of either. Now, a 300 pound white girl? Maybe...maybe not. It would really have 2 be decided on a case by case basis. But black girls carry their weight differently than white girls or even latinas do. They tend 2 have more chest and butt and they carry their fat around the midsection rather than on their thighs and shit. A black bitch would have 2 be pushing like 500 pounds B4 she ever ended up with fat ankles. A white girl hits size 10 and suddenly she can't zip up the zipper on her fucking boots anymore? WTF iz that about? That's why U see so many fat white bitches wearing Birkenstocks - that's all she can fucking squeeze her foot N2. But anyway, she invited me over and I chose not 2 go...she's a hometown girl and I could just see where that wuz going!
Then there wuz the white girl who I met on my swinger site who wanted me 2 just come over and pound the fucking shit out of her. She didn't even want 2 meet somewhere public first! She really did just want me 2 come over and fuck. I'm not sure what happened there, other than I just don't want 2 do any cheating.
I wuz texting my friend in Michigan the other day and I had thought that I erased all of the messages, right? Well...az it turns out I 4got one of them, and that one just so happened 2 be the one that I asked her if she would let me come visit her. DUMB DUMB DUMB OMG THAT IZ SUCH GOOFY WHITE SHIT I CAN'T FUCKING STAND MYSELF!!! So, she popped it out and asked me WTF I thought I wuz doing. I tried 2 explain it az best I could, but I have my doubts az 2 whether or not she wuz buying anything I had 2 say on the subject.
I told her that I wuz getting off on the idea of myself still being able 2 knock a 22 year old bitch without having 2 go in pocket 2 pay 4 the shit. Especially one that I think iz hot. Believe me...this one iz HOT HOT HOT!!! The fact of the matter iz that I dig the way that her attention feels. I like that this youngster wants 2 fuck me, and it might even become a problem if she lived next door, but she duzn't. She lives 2200 miles away.
But even in my most ridiculous of fantasies I don't try 2 think about what it would be like 2 become her BF! That iz just asking 4 fucking trouble, iz what that iz! I just want 2 get a little pussy and maybe get my dick sucked and I'm a happy camper.
Actually, the truth iz that if I wuz ever 2 get the opportunity 2 meet the girl from Michigan it would have 2 be with the full understanding that I wuz going 2 sleep with her. I am not even going 2 pretend 2 maintain enough self control 2 keep my cock out of a 22 year-old broad. I just want 2 fuck the living shit out of her one time (OK - maybe twice. Fuck it...give me the weekend and I can bang it right out of my system!) and then be done with all that bullshit. I certainly do not want 2 make her my bitch, that's 4 goddamn sure!
But that really iz how it seems 2 others, and maybe they are looking at it from a clearer perspective than I am, I don't know. Maybe that's just the way shit works, when and if it works at all.
All I want iz a 48-hour pass. I figure that if I can't do the shit I want 2 do and who I want 2 do the shit with in two fucking daze then I probably should take a look at re-evaluating what it iz I am asking 2 do. But the fact iz that she reacts 2wards me according 2 her heart while I react 2 her according 2 my cock first, and its rigidity second. So that means that where I see myself fucking some drunken 300 pound sista az being really not that big of a deal, she sees the same fucking shit az ripping her heart from her fucking chest and stomping on the motherfucker. I say, "What difference duz it make if I fuck this bitch in her ass or not?" Besides the fact that she wants 2 and it seems 2 me like a really good way 2 get U out of it, that iz.
OK - I'm done with this fucking bullshit. Just in the nick of time, 2. I wuz about 2 blow this bitch the fuck up.
