That's right...I'm the ASSMAN!!!

Now, I'm not going 2 say I love the booty. I think that goes without saying. Anyone who knows me can tell U that I LOVE that ass. Big asses, phat asses, white asses, black asses... I fucking love them all! U gots 2 love a big ol' bubble butt iz all I'm saying!

Speaking of bubble butts, U remember my homegirl CARESS, right? The one that sells pussy? Yeah...I know. How the fuck could U 4get? Anyway, we have a really cool relationship. I don't try 2 get at her and she doesn't walk around in front of me naked or any shit like that. We just kick it. There's no fucking pressure. It's like being around another dude, except that she iz really pretty. It's like being around Ricky Martin. It's really fucking cool.

At least it wuz until the other night when she decided (unilaterally) 2 switch shit up on me. She invited me over 2 smoke a little and kick it with her and a couple other friends then proceeded 2 stick her ass in my face the entire evening! OK - I wuz really only there 4 like 25 minutes, but she must have done it at least seven times during that half an hour!

Believe me, I am all about the platonic thing and I really can be the best friend a bitch ever had but there has 2 be guidelines. One of those guidelines has 2 be that if U are banging an ass like this U don't stick it in my face unless U intend 4 me 2 be banging an ass like that shortly thereafter. I mean, come on already! I am only a man, goddamnit!

I'm just playing. I know the bitch iz gonna check this out and FREAK the fuck out (OK, bitch - B4 U even so much az fix Ur mouth 2 say something fucking stupid about why do I keep posting the same old fucking pics U better bring Ur ASS over here and let me take some new ones...)! Of course, she might just freak out so much that she starts 2 tripping about the whole situation. That could fuck it all up 4 everybody. She might actually stop putting her ass in my face! OH, NO! Not that! Anything but that!










Becuz let's keep it real here, shall we? I don't mind her putting her ass in my face. U might even go so far az 2 say I look 4ward 2 it! I mean, how often do I get a booty like that close enough that I could lick it? Not often enough. U must got me fucked up if U think I'm gonna be the one bitching about that shit. NOT!!!

It really would be just like me 2 fuck this up. Here I got a bitch who knows me and iz willing 2 hang out with me and izn't trying 2 give me any pussy and I gotta go and over think the shit and fuck it up 4 everybody.


Az it turns out, I added WAY 2 many ass pics 2 this post. I would just hate 2 fucking download the damned things and then not use them. Thats just a fucking waste of both my time and my energy. Besides, I would venture that by now U motherfuckers log on expecting porn!

So, I am basically just filling this space with words so that I can come along later and fill the voids in between the letters with pictures of BOO-TAY!!! All I'm trying 2 say iz it would be a lot more fun if I could take a few of these pics myself! OK - U don't think its a good idea 4 me 2 be taking the pics myself? How about I just have them taken 4 me? Duz that work 4 U there, chief?










How much trouble could I possibly get N2 if I wuz surrounded by a bunch of naked ass? I doubt it would be all that much. Remember, its tits that make me lose my fucking mind. I just like the booty, iz all. I'm really not finna lose my motherfucking mind over the shit. Really. Hey - I'm trying 2 be serious here! It would be wonderful if U would stop fucking laughing!

Just how the fuck am I supposed 2 get anybody 2 take me seriously if U keep this shit up? What? Are U fucking high? Iz that what's going on here? Look - I'm just trying 2 have a good time and share a little internet ass with the folks. Iz that so fucking wrong of me?

OK - bear with me here...I'm almost done. I had 2 make a spot 4 this next series of pics. Take a look 4 Urself if U don't believe me! Fuck it, don't take my word 4 it. That's really what I am talking about here. This iz a bitch who iz sexy az FUCK! Actually, she kinda reminds me of my neighbor (the one I want 2 stick my tongue up her ass, not the one I already did...) with that thang! I fucking DIG IT!!!







I see this shit and wonder 2 myself, 'Where can I get myself one of these?' So, she's a little chunky...that's OK. In ten years she will be one of those ladies that's shaped like an upside down light bulb, which iz precisely why it iz so imperative that I find her and take advantage of her ASSets B4 that happens! OMG! Are U listening 2 me here? Hello? Hello? Iz this thing on or what? Jesus fucking Christ! Just WTF do I pay U people 4? Do I really ask all that fucking much? Are my demands just 2 exacting on Ur already weakened state? I don't know. Duz it really fucking matter? I mean, honestly...come on!



All right, all right, settle the fuck down. This posting turned out 2 be packed 2 the gills with backsides. There's so much ass on this page I don't even know how 2 act about it. This one iz definitely all about the bottom line! Which iz all the reason I should end it with this. Trust me...I'm betting her ass iz just fine...and even if it izn't...who fucking cares?