u must be out ur ever-lovin mind...

I really gotta stop telling on myself. It can't be fucking healthy. Besides that, it really iz just plain stupid, and we all know that stupidity breeds police involvement (Write that shit down, bitches. It'll be on the final), and we certainly need 2 avoid that at all costs! Fuck da Police coming straight from the underground, bitches!

2day should be a fairly decent day 4 me, all things considered. I keep telling myself that anyway and we'll see where that gets us.

So, I'm outside a few minutes ago and I see this fairly new car sitting in the parking lot with the engine running, right? Naturally, I consider taking it B4 finally settling on leaving off doing that kinda shit. 4 the time being, anyway. So, I walk back over 2 the front door and look back at the car again. That's when I noticed 4 the first fucking time that there wuz a kid sitting in the passenger seat! I only mention this 2 illustrate how one poor decision can change an easy ride home N2 a fucking Amber Alert and a federal kidnapping charge. Just food 4 thought...



Yeah...Kimandgetsomemoreofthis and I were supposed 2 be moving 2 Willits (see above insert) last month. Obviously, that didn't work out. Turns out that the broad we were going 2 live with up there wuz just a bit wacky. I realize I usually count that as a good thing, but this time not so much. Maybe cuz this time my bullshit wuz directly affecting the old lady, I don't know. Maybe I am becoming less selfish and more sensitive 2 the needs of others in my old age. Or maybe this town wuz established by demons and iz in reality a portal N2 Hell itself, and once U have been captured by it's presence there iz no escape. I guess it really could be one or the other. At this point in time there really iz no way of telling...

This iz the reason we were going 2 Willits 2 begin with...my granddaughter Samantha. Izn't she something? That's really what it's all about, people. Proliferation of the species and all that hoohah. Don't get me wrong, I want 2 be around my idiot kid also, but Sammie iz really what its all about...

One step closer 2 Purgatory...

I chatted with my 22 yo hottie that lives in MI earlier 4 the first time in I don't know how long. She told me that she may be pregnant. I know it's fucking ridiculous, but I am really not wanting this bitch 2 be knocked up! Especially when I ask her who the guy iz and she tells me, "Oh...some guy from Va." Are U fucking with me here? Iz that what's been going on, cuz it really would explain so much shit I can't begin 2 list all of it here.


So, yeah...I guess what all of this really boils down 2 iz I am fucking jealous of some dickhead from Virginia over a bitch from Michigan that I have never fucking met. OMG I am so freaking pathetic. I really have become one of those guys, haven't I? One of those freaky, old internet perverts who use myspace 2 lure little girls N2 inappropriate situations 4 the purpose of taking advantage of their naivete 2 fulfill some sick personal fantasy. Yeah...that pretty much sums it up. U want RickmthafknJones in a nutshell? Well, there U go, buddy.

So...um...yeah. I have a crush on some chick I don't even know. I'm sick with it. U see those two pictures right there? I am the inspiration 4 them. At least...that's what my overinflated ego tells me. Reality may or may not be similar in substance 2 my perception of it, BTW.

I don't even question the fact that I have a HUGE fucking crush on this poor girl, and that in of itself may be some cause 4 alarm. I mean, come on already...I don't even want anymore kids! Why the fuck would I want 2 go through that HELL all over again when I finally managed 2 get out alive?

OK - so we have established that this lovely creature may be knocked up (she izn't, but we are just playing along with her craziness at the moment. Just go with it...) and that on some level I wish I were her baby daddy. My question iz this: iz that becuz I wouldn't mind fathering her child or becuz I am really just interested in tapping that ass? Becuz I am willing 2 admit that it has been a few moons since I last fucked a 22 year old. I remember it wuz a pleasant experience - one that I wouldn't mind doing again...especially if this iz the 22yo in question!

U see...beyond being really intelligent and super nice (not 2 mention her being an utterly FANTASTIC mom already!), I happen 2 think that this woman iz drop dead fucking gorgeous! There aren't that many women that can make me want 2 jack-off immediately, but this here iz one of them. But, besides all of that bullshit - all of the unnecessary sexual crap we tend 2 get caught up in - this iz a woman whom I fucking really like! Honestly...who woulda thunk it?

4 instance...I despise talking on the telephone. I feel so much more com4table texting or e-mailing someone over actually talking 2 them. Probably becuz I am a pussy (U are what U eat, after all...) when push comes 2 shove. My fear of success raises its ugly head and squashes whatever chances I may have - or so I have come 2 believe. With this one that really duzn't hold true. I don't mind so much talking 2 her on the phone. In fact, I kinda look 4ward 2 it. I don't know if it iz her beauty, her insanity or her willingness 2 do pretty much anything I ask her 2, but 4 some reason this one iz different. I really fucking like her!

SO, fuck it...I'll admit that I got jealous a little bit over her banging the clown from Va. Not becuz I want her 2 remain celibate or anything like that. Actually, I'd prefer that she videotape herself fucking and send it 2 me, but that iz a subject 4 another blog altogether. Let's try 2 stay on point here, goddamnit! So I got a little peeved over Va. boy (I'll bet he has a short dick. These guys ALWAYS turn out 2 have short dicks. I don't really know why...) fucking my bitch, and want 2 figure out some way 2 prevent it from happening again. I honestly don't mind her getting laid, but that clown iz out of the fucking car. Fuck him...he's about 2 get on my last nerve anyways...

Who woulda thunk it?

So, it turns out that fucking Patrick Swayze has Pancreatic Cancer or some shit. If it ain't that (come on...the guy could be a dick smoker. He wouldn't be the first Hollywood actor 2 pull off staying in the closet, would he?), the guy definitely has some other heinous shit. AIDS or Ebola or some other fucking thing I don't want any part of.

I really don't even know why I felt the need 2 say any of this. I never even liked the guy. He sucked in The Outsiders, I never even fucking saw Dirty Dancing and Ghost makes my testicles shrink whenever I watch it. So fuck him.

U may now return 2 whatever it wuz U were doing.