Here I Go Again and Again and Again...

I really think that my blog lacks direction. I mean, I want it 2 be more than just some web page where I post my favorite porn pics that I have downloaded off of the internet, U know? I want it 2 have some substance...some bite...something that keeps motherfuckers coming back 4 more.

It seems 2 me that I have been posting the same fucking blog over and over again, and I 4 one am getting a little tired of it! How hard iz it 2 b entertaining? If fucking Carottop can make a living doing it, what duz that really say about my stupid little web page?

I want 2 be doing something more with this forum than I have been up until now. I want 2 branch out N2 real journalism. But i don't want 2 cover the same old bullshit stories that everyone else iz doing. I want 2 be fresh. I want 2 be new. I want 2 be 2day!

I want 2 get out of SaCRAPmento and spread my fucking wings a little. I want 2 escape all the petty bullshit and go somewhere where there iz a more pleasant atmosphere. Someplace with a little less drama and a lot more chicks (good luck with that one there, Chief...) would be absolutely perfect! The problem iz...where the fuck am I suppose 2 find this mysterious spot?

Speaking of mysterious spots, I almost ended up in one earlier this week. I wuz considering going 2 meet this chick I had talked 2 a little bit on AMD, but I decided that the risk 2 my marraige wuz just 2 high 4 me 2 go fucking around like some idiot with nothing 2 lose. My bitch iz gonna leave if she catches me doing that shit again, and one way or another she always catches me.

So, I didn't go bang the horny blonde I met online last week. Izn't that special? Aren't U proud of me? Didn't I do exactly the right thing, here? Then how come I feel like shit over this? Why do people do anything that they do? Take this bitch on the right, 4 instance! WTF could possibly convince her that cramming a bunch of fucking carrots up her ass iz a good idea? And how the hell did she do it 2 begin with? Wuz it one carrot at a time until she could handle more, or did she just go 4 fucking broke and shove them all up the yoop yoop at once?

But here's my problem of the moment. I'm WAYYY super fucking horny right now and Kimzilla and I are fighting AGAIN. I'm so sick of this fucking shit, I swear 2 God! She knows what I am doing (nothing) and who I am doing it with (no one), and she still gets fucking attitude with me. At the moment she iz pissed off becuz I have been blogging 2 much. Can U believe this shit? Blogging 2 fucking much? Ur fucking joking me, right?

No...I'm afraid I'm not joking. It really makes me feel like I should have gone on and met up with Blondie just 2 see what she wuz talking about (like I don't already know...). It kinda makes me wanna go call her now...

Don't Let The Son Go Down On Me...

OK - since I know U are all thinking it anyway, I'm just going 2 go ahead and say it. I'm a motherfucking pimp! I gots bitches from all over the fucking WORLD sending me pictures of themselves, nigga! Matter of fact...I probably got Ur girl sending me pictures. What now? Whatcha gonna do?

The reason 4 my tirade this morning iz simple enough. This morning I got my fourth model 2 agree 2 pose 4 my page! That makes four fucking months in the bag, Boss! That works out 2 a full third of the year! Far fucking out! And that wuz without even having 2 use any of my bailout models. My bailout models being any of the lovely escorts with whom I occasionally share my company. Even still, I am pretty sure I can get at least one or two of them 2 do it anyway.

The girls who have agreed in principle 2 do layouts are all great sports 4 doing this. It izn't like I offered 2 pay them anything (although I did make promises about a t-shirt. I should probably look N2 getting those made or making the damn things myself or whatever it iz I am going 2 end up doing. U know...B4 it becomes an issue. Last thing I need iz a bunch of halfr naked bitches banging at my frony door...hold on...I may want 2 rethink that.

So, I guess U can call this a little preview if U want. Just a little something 2 let U know what's coming!!!

The things U find when U ain't even looking...

Look...I fucking love porn. Everybody knows that. And I spend a minute or two every day perusing the in4mation superhighway in search of new and interesting images I can share with U sick fuckers who read my blog. U know who U are. Yeah...U. Anyway, U can imagine my surprise when I retrieved my laptop (I had lent it 2 a friend 4 the day) and found unfamiliar porn on my desktop!

Don't get me wrong...I'm not complaining. As a matter of fact, I wish every chick I knew would secretly stash pictures of her ass on my machine. Especially if she has an ass like this! But give a nigga a little warning, would U? Don't just say 2 a motherfucker, "Oh, yeah...I put some pics on Ur computer. Would U mind e-mailing them 2 me?" Are U crazy, bitch? U trying 2 kill me? U gotta say, "Um...check it out, bro. I left some booty pics on Ur shit. Now...U know I gots a bad ass, so U might wanna be a little careful looking at them. Wear sunglasses or some shit, I don't know." At least that way U'd be giving me a chance, goddamnit!

But that's not all she put on my shit. She put these pics up also. I don't know who the fuck these bitches are, and I am going 2 go out on a limb and say that that's probably a good thing. I think I know enough bad girls. I don't need anymore of them in my life at the moment. Besides, if U get 2 many of then 2gether at the same time they begin 2 work against eachother. That's just no good 4 anybody. If U want, U can leave Ur number with the receptionist, however, az we do experience a pretty high turnover and can always use a fresh face.

WOW - I don't even know WTF I'm talking about anymore, so I know there iz little hope that any of U do. Even those of U who honestly do try 2 understand me (both of U) must be having a hard time with this one. It must make U wonder, 'Why the fuck am I even trying? Iz the payoff really fucking worth it?' Becuz face it, on my best daze it iz a stretch az 2 whether what I do iz entertainment or just crap. If nothing else I am pretty sure I muddy the line between art and pornography. At my worst? Oh, God...fuggetaboutit.

Oh, yeah! I just remembered I did something meaningful 4 a change. I know some of U may find that notion laughable, but I made up a word, U fuckers. The word iz fugoogled, and it means 2 sit in front of the computer unable 2 remember anything U wanted 2 do on the internet. That's actually the second word I have coined, if U count narcoglyph, but I don't see that one taking off until after my death, when it will indoubtedly be used 2 explain my bizarre writing style. U know....when they cover my work in American Lit (iz that what they mean when they say I suffer from grandiosity? Cuz I wuz never quite sure WTF they were trying 2 say. I figured they were just hating on me cuz I'm so pretty...).

Whose idea wuz it 2 get this guy a computer?

Becuz I am here 2 tell U there have been some better ideas over the years that maybe someone should have considered B4 settling upon this course of action. But now that that ship has already sailed anyway, U may az well kick back and enjoy the ride, I say! Not that what I say makes any difference (I believe we have already established that fact...), but there U go anyway.

I find this shit online and I think 2 myself, 'OMG - I have got 2 post that fucking pic!' Then, long B4 sanity has any chance of showing up and saving the day, B4 I know it I have shit like this posted on my blog. I know U don't want 2 look at this shit! Nobody wants 2 look at this fucking shit. Nobody in their right mind duz, anyway.

But some pics are just 2 good 4 me 2 let pass no matter what my better judgement iz screaming at me 2 do. That's why I made sure 2 go back and get this post finished. It sat az a fucking draft 4 daze B4 I got around 2 finishing the motherfucker. Even then I only did it so I could use this picture of my friend Jim. Az U can tell by his feeble attempt as disguising himself (yeah...we're not going 2 realize that the guy with the popsicle iz U, bro!). When this pic wuz taken, he wuz obviously worried that one of my many wacked out readers would recognize him at the supermarket buying more popsicles and Gatorade. On the outside chance that they may in some way impeed that task and keep it from being completed, he figured anonymity wuz his only viable option. Probably a good idea...

I just wanted 2 put the rumours 2 rest once and 4 all...

I just wanted 2 put the question of whether or not I actually do have an enormous cock 2 rest once and 4 all! Az U can clearly see, not only do I have an ENORMOUS cock, but it iz so fucking BIG I have 2 keep it behind razor wire!!! 4 those haters among U, don't fucking worry...I'm sure I will do something that U can hate on soon. U know...something like produce actual photographic evidence of me stroking my ENORMOUS cock! I'm willing 2 bet NONE of U motherfuckers wuz expecting 2 see this, huh? Well, thats what U get 4 doubting a motherfucker's integrity...

More Porn 4 The People...

This iz just some more goodies I downloaded off the internet. If U are interested in becoming a SlipperyBitch, then these are the kinds of images I am looking 4. If U are just a pervert, well here U go then! These pics are 4 U, baby! I truly hope that U enjoy them as much as I do, but I'm OK with U not caring 4 them at all. I mean...it's not like I do this shit 4 anyone other than myself, iz it? Hell, no...besides, az self-centered az I am it would really just become confusing if I started doing shit 4 others. Best that we just keep the status quo, U know?

But this really iz just temporary. I should have my own ORIGINAL models soon. By soon I mean within the month. That way I can have a SlipperyBitch of the Month, and begin it with January 2008. Of course, that means I have 2 find eleven more bitches interested in doing this B4 the year iz out. I already have two lined up, but I am going 2 have 2 go fishing 4 the rest. I do have a couple of chicks I am planning 2 ask 2 do it, but I haven't quite had the opportunity just yet. I also have a couple of hotties that live nearby that I am planning 2 ask 2 do it, and if they say yes I may even get 2 take the fucking pics myself!

But 4 the time being this iz all just pointless speculation since I haven't even asked them yet. But I will...don't U worry none about that. In the meantime I hope U enjoy these pics I captured off of Google Images. If U happen 2 be one of those people who has agreed 2 take pics 4 me, please take the time 2 examine these and other pro pics I have posted so U have some idea what it iz I am trying 2 do, OK? Great...