And I spend a minute or two every day perusing the in4mation superhighway in search of new and interesting images I can share with U sick fuckers who read my blog. U know who U are. Yeah...U. Anyway, U can imagine my surprise when I retrieved my laptop (I had lent it 2 a friend 4 the day) and found unfamiliar porn on my desktop! 
Don't get me wrong...I'm not complaining. As a matter of fact, I wish every chick I knew would secretly stash pictures of her ass on my machine. Especially if she has an ass like this! But give a nigga a little warning, would U? Don't just say 2 a motherfucker, "Oh, yeah...I put some pics on Ur computer. Would U mind e-mailing them 2 me?" Are U crazy, bitch? U trying 2 kill me? U gotta say, "Um...check it out, bro. I left 
some booty pics on Ur shit. Now...U know I gots a bad ass, so U might wanna be a little careful looking at them. Wear sunglasses or some shit, I don't 
know." At least that way U'd be giving me a chance, 
goddamnit!But that's not all she put on my shit. She put these pics up also. I don't know who the fuck these bitches are, and I am going 2 go out on a limb and say that that's probably a good thing. I think I know enough bad girls. I don't need anymore
of them in my life at the moment. Besides, if U get 2 many of then 2gether at the same time they begin 2 work against eachother. That's just no good 4 anybody. If U want, U can leave Ur number with the receptionist, however, az we do experience a pretty high turnover and can always use a fresh face.WOW - I don't even know WTF I'm talking about anymore, so I know there iz little hope that any of U do. Even those of U who honestly do try 2 understand me (both of U) must be having a hard time with this one. It must make U wonder, 'Why the fuck am I even trying? Iz the payoff really fucking worth it?' Becuz face it, on my best daze it iz a stretch az 2 whether what I do iz entertainment or just crap. If nothing else I am pretty sure I muddy the line between art and pornography. At my worst? Oh, God...fuggetaboutit.
Oh, yeah! I just remembered I did something meaningful 4 a change. I know some of U may find that notion laughable, but I made up a word, U fuckers. The word iz fugoogled, and it means 2 sit in front of the computer unable 2 remember anything U wanted 2 do on the internet. That's actually the second word I have coined, if U count narcoglyph, but I don't see that one taking off until after my death, when it will indoubtedly be used 2 explain my bizarre writing style. U know....when they cover my work in American Lit (iz that what they mean when they say I suffer from grandiosity? Cuz I wuz never quite sure WTF they were trying 2 say. I figured they were just hating on me cuz I'm so pretty...).
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