Fedex, Pies and Christina Applegate...

I'm gonna tell U a story

Chock full of lies and bullshit.

I'm not going 2 ask U 2 believe it..

But I don't think U will ever 4get it!

I wuz chillin at a local motel
Sippin on some ghetto bubbly

And thinking 2 myself, "What the hell?"

Why shouldn't I go buck wild up in this piece?

That's when...

Right about then..

I peeped outside
And seen the police!

They wuz here

They wuz there!

They wuz damned near every fucking where!

I swear...

They even had one in the air!

It must be a fucking raid!!

Cuz there is cops everywhere!

I'm not trying 2 be all super paranoid

But these are the very motherfuckers

I'm always trying 2 avoid

That's when I took a deep breath
2 help gather my wits

Then made a break 4 it

And got the fuck up out this bitch!

I wuz quiet...

I wuz stealthy...

I wouldn't mind

if I wuz independently wealthy

I did what I had 2 on that ill-fated day

Cuz all U can count on in this life

Is death...

Taxes...

And shit rarely going Ur way.

On N2 the night went my great escape

Until finally I reached out 2 fly!!!

Don't worry about me

The doctors all agree

It won't be 2 long B4 I'm alright!

As U sit and consider this tale of woe I have told

There is a thing or two U may want 2 know

It's really kinda funny...
Cuz I thought we wuz being raided 4 sho
But it turned out...2 my suprise
The spot where we'd been kickin it all this time...
U know...B4 I went all berzerk?

Well...that spot...as it turns out
Is right up the fucking street

From where the cocksuckers
Go 2 work!