I understand the confusion. I used 2 be those people, until (just like any legitimate sport, BTW) I took the time 2 understand that this iz a team sport. It's not just about the guy driving the fucking car. Sure, that's important 2, but the best driver in the world izn't going 2 do shit if the rest of the team izn't just az good.
But, it duz help if the guy behind the wheel izn't a fag. It helps me not 2 be az irritated when the fuckers win anyway. I wuz 4tunate enough 2 become exposed 2 the sport in a way that most people miss out on. U see, the racing season iz LONG az FUCK! That means that most Sundays they are running a race somewhere. But what most people don't know iz that they practice running that race all week long. They usually show all that shit on the Speed Channel. Practices and qualifying 4 the race and all that shit. By watching the qualifying runs I got 2 see how they make adjustments 2 the cars in preparation of the race. How they make them faster, turn better or whatever.
But I'm not really here 2day az some kind of an ambassador 4 the sport. That would just be kinda silly. Why would I give a fuck whether or not U get it? But 4 those of U who are interested in a quick primer, here's all U really need 2 know about the most popular sport (next 2 chasing hookers and dope sacks, of course) in America.
NASCAR exists becuz hillbillies like their liquor, really. They would get 2 brewing their moonshine and running from federal revenuers, and they needed faster and faster cars 2 accomplish that feat. Eventually, the time came 2 see just who had the faster car. I don't give a shit what it iz, if their are two of them men will find some way 2 race them. Why? I don't fucking know, it's genetic or something. Probably becuz mine iz fucking faster than Urs, dumbass. Those weekend races at dirt tracks back in the woods eventually grew N2 the monster that it iz 2day. But U don't really need 2 know all that. I'm just showing off a little.
The biggest thing U need 2 know iz that Dale Earnhart, Sr. (a black and silver #3 Delco Chevrolet...again, that would be me showing off) iz GOD. Un4tunately 4 his millions of followers, however, he wuz killed in a crash at Daytona International Speedway in 2000. Sucks 4 him, I know. The tragedy led 2 a new safety device that has saved a few lives since, though. It's called a Han's Device and basically it just keeps Ur head from flying off of Ur shoulders when U come 2 an abrupt stop whenever traveling at 200 MPH. God did have a couple of sons, however, and one of them appeared 4 a long time 2 be the heir apparent, but this past season he left the racing team his father had started and started driving 4 another team.
Anyway, Junior (az he iz know by) used 2 drive the #8 Budweiser Chevrolet. It wuz extremely recognizable and many people jumped on his bandwagon. Besides that he's kinda cute. If U dig that clean-cut American whiteboy look, I guess. Even az his popularity skyrocketed he continued 2 get crushed on a regular basis by the teams from rival (this would be me drawing a blank). Their cars include 5-time champion Jeff Gordon's #24 Pehpsi Chevrolet (fag), 2-time and current NASCAR champ Jimmie Johnson's #48 Lowe's Chevrolet
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