Look...I understand I'm not the most ministerial motherfucker out there, but it iz shit like this that makes me lean 2wards believing in the existence of God. Why iz 
that? Well…becuz there must be a God if there iz a Satan, and only the fucking Devil would do some shit like this 2 me!
that? Well…becuz there must be a God if there iz a Satan, and only the fucking Devil would do some shit like this 2 me!I know U are all wondering WTF I am whining about now, huh? What kind of stupid fucking shit did I go and get myself N2 this 
time? Well…I’m going 2 tell U. U ain’t gonna believe it…but I am gonna tell U anyway. Just becuz I’m so fucking pissed off about this that I can’t fucking see straight!
So…lemme tell U what happened. Last weekend I wuz trippin around the internet the way I do, when I started 2 get N2 one of my moods. I don’t know what brings these fucking things on, but I do know that they usually tend 2 lead me 2wards the same fucking shit. Obviously, this mood didn’t want 2 disappoint, becuz B4 I knew what I wuz up 2 I found myself surfing CraigsList.
Now, normally CL wouldn’t even have
anyone interesting on it, let alone intriguing. Usually I wouldn't have found anyone but some fat ass wannabe swinger bitches that are oh, so fucking pathetic, but 
becuz I wuz the one looking and whomever iz in charge of these things hates me, naturally there wuz an interesting ad. Some chick wuz trying 2 find amateur males who wanted 2 help her work on a home made porn movie.
Are U fucking shitting me here? This must be a goddamned mistake, right? There 
izn’t anyone else out there who shares any of my fucked up interests, iz there? OK – maybe there iz, but I’m already knowing that the bitch looks like this, right? Becuz there iz just no way that she could be interested in my shit and be cute. That would just be cruel!
It turns out I wuz wrong about that shit. Not only iz the bitch cute, but she iz smart and serious az well! The complete fucking package, obviously conjured up by the Devil
2 fuck with me. Somewhere someone fucking decided that I wuzn’t fucking up my life fast enough all by myself, and I needed some other fucking shit 2 come along and piss my old lady off 2 no end. And just becuz they were in such a 
jolly fucking mood they figured that they would pick on one of my all-time fantasies…U know, just 2 keep things interesting. 
So, let’s recap, shall we? I go on CraigsList and contact some broad that I probably had no business sending a fucking message 2. That bitch turns out 2 be some sexy little chocolate number who iz interested in many of the same things that I am (and no one else I know wants 2 go anywhere near…), leaving me in the most uncomfortable position of trying 2 talk my woman N2 letting me do some crazy fucking shit.
FUCK! I really don’t want 2 fucking believe this shit iz happening, and yet it iz. Az a result I am left with a very uncomfortable decision 2 make. Do I
4get about this shit altogether? Or…do I approach Kimmeaninchandilltakeamotherfuckingmile and ask her 2 let me participate in this project?
I really don’t see that I have any goddamn choice. I have 2 ask her, becuz if I fucking
don’t ask her she will find out about it sometime down the goddamn road and say, “U should have said something, stupid! I would have been ok with that!” and then I will have 2 kill myself. I don’t wanna kill myself. I know I act like I do, 
but really I’m kinda cool on that.
So…once again I am going 2 put myself out there and once again she iz gonna shoot me
the fuck down. How do I know this? Becuz that’s what she fucking duz. Were she 2 do anything else it would come az such a fucking shock I would probably fall over dead of a fucking heart attack and miss out on the goddamn thing anyway! But, I am going 2 ask anyway.
Who knows? Maybe she will fucking surprise me after all…
time? Well…I’m going 2 tell U. U ain’t gonna believe it…but I am gonna tell U anyway. Just becuz I’m so fucking pissed off about this that I can’t fucking see straight!So…lemme tell U what happened. Last weekend I wuz trippin around the internet the way I do, when I started 2 get N2 one of my moods. I don’t know what brings these fucking things on, but I do know that they usually tend 2 lead me 2wards the same fucking shit. Obviously, this mood didn’t want 2 disappoint, becuz B4 I knew what I wuz up 2 I found myself surfing CraigsList.
Now, normally CL wouldn’t even have
anyone interesting on it, let alone intriguing. Usually I wouldn't have found anyone but some fat ass wannabe swinger bitches that are oh, so fucking pathetic, but 
becuz I wuz the one looking and whomever iz in charge of these things hates me, naturally there wuz an interesting ad. Some chick wuz trying 2 find amateur males who wanted 2 help her work on a home made porn movie.
Are U fucking shitting me here? This must be a goddamned mistake, right? There 
izn’t anyone else out there who shares any of my fucked up interests, iz there? OK – maybe there iz, but I’m already knowing that the bitch looks like this, right? Becuz there iz just no way that she could be interested in my shit and be cute. That would just be cruel!
It turns out I wuz wrong about that shit. Not only iz the bitch cute, but she iz smart and serious az well! The complete fucking package, obviously conjured up by the Devil
2 fuck with me. Somewhere someone fucking decided that I wuzn’t fucking up my life fast enough all by myself, and I needed some other fucking shit 2 come along and piss my old lady off 2 no end. And just becuz they were in such a 
jolly fucking mood they figured that they would pick on one of my all-time fantasies…U know, just 2 keep things interesting. 
So, let’s recap, shall we? I go on CraigsList and contact some broad that I probably had no business sending a fucking message 2. That bitch turns out 2 be some sexy little chocolate number who iz interested in many of the same things that I am (and no one else I know wants 2 go anywhere near…), leaving me in the most uncomfortable position of trying 2 talk my woman N2 letting me do some crazy fucking shit.
FUCK! I really don’t want 2 fucking believe this shit iz happening, and yet it iz. Az a result I am left with a very uncomfortable decision 2 make. Do I
4get about this shit altogether? Or…do I approach Kimmeaninchandilltakeamotherfuckingmile and ask her 2 let me participate in this project?I really don’t see that I have any goddamn choice. I have 2 ask her, becuz if I fucking
don’t ask her she will find out about it sometime down the goddamn road and say, “U should have said something, stupid! I would have been ok with that!” and then I will have 2 kill myself. I don’t wanna kill myself. I know I act like I do, 
but really I’m kinda cool on that.So…once again I am going 2 put myself out there and once again she iz gonna shoot me
the fuck down. How do I know this? Becuz that’s what she fucking duz. Were she 2 do anything else it would come az such a fucking shock I would probably fall over dead of a fucking heart attack and miss out on the goddamn thing anyway! But, I am going 2 ask anyway.Who knows? Maybe she will fucking surprise me after all…
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