OK - now, this iz how U start a fucking Friday. I just got back from picking up my homegirl off the train. She got released from jail this morning and needed a ride. My nigga happened 2 be hanging out last night and we went down and snatched her ass up. Then we brought her back 2 the house and
yes...I enjoyed the fuck out of the ride home, since she had 2 sit on my lap the whole way. If I could have changed anything about the situation it would have been 2 have that nigga driving find the bumpiest, most bone-jarring road he could find in between here and there. I ain't gonna fucking lie...I really am OK with anything that ends up with this bitch bouncing on my lap! 
U know...just 2 make the whole scene more com4table 4 everyone involved...All I am saying iz that this kind of fucking behavior iz eventually going 2 lead 2 me banging this broad. It's a fucking eventuality I'm telling U! I know my wife iz none 2 happy about the shit, either! But hey...can I help it if I'm so fucking irresistable it makes U sick 2 the stomach just thinking about it. Which really should give U some idea of why I prefer not thinking about it at all. Fuck that motherfucking shit. Like I don't already have enough problems with trying 2 keep these fucking lights from getting cut-off...
But seriously...I can't fuck this bitch (az nice az that idea may seem on the surface) anyway. She iz one of my old lady's friends, and it just so happens that I swore off fucking my old lady's friends. Especially after that last one I got hemmed up with. That fucking bitch wuz a real number, I gotta say.
--- READER'S SIDE NOTE: 4 THE PURPOSES OF THIS BLOG, I AM NOT COUNTING THE BITCH LORI AZ ONE OF THE OLD LADY'S FRIENDS. SOME OF U MAY BE LIKE, "WELL, THAT'S JUST SOME FUCKING BULLSHIT! HOW THE FUCK IZ U FINNA
PICK AND CHOOSE WHO THE FUCK THIS BITCH'S FRIENDS FUCKING ARE?" THAT IZ ACTUALLY A VALID FUCKING POINT. BUT, CHECK THIS OUT NOW - I SUBMIT 2 U THAT THE BITCH LORI WUZ NEVER ONE OF MY BITCH'S FRIENDS. IF SHE WUZ ONE OF HER FRIENDS, SHE DAMNED SURE WOU
LDN'T HAVE WRAPPED HER LEGS AROUND MY HEAD THE FIRST CHANCE SHE GOT. AZ A MATTER OF FACT, IF SHE WUZ REALLY ONE OF HER FRIENDS SHE WOULDN'T HAVE FUCKED WITH ME AT ALL. THEREFORE, 4 THE PURPOSES OF THIS POSTING, AT LEAST, THE LAST FRIEND OF HERS I FUCKED WITH WUZ ACTUALLY THAT BITCH PROMYSE. I REALIZE THAT THIS IZ A CONTRADICTION IN TERMS, BUT SO FUCKING WHAT? U DON'T LIKE IT THEN DON'T FUCKING READ IT. BELIEVE WHATEVER THE FUCK U WANT, BUT THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER IZ THAT THERE WUZ JUST NO WAY THAT THE BITCH LORI WUZ EVER KIMENEMANSQUARE'S FUCKING FRIEND. ---But 2 be perfectly honest about it, it wuzn't fucking that bitch that fucked me up. What fucked me up wuz falling in love with the motherfucker B4 figuring out that she wuzn't even fucking real. Not just sorta not real, either. When I say "not real" I mean completely fucking fabricated. Completly and totally made the fuck up. I'm not even 100% sure that the bitch ever liked fucking me (OK - that's bullshit. It may not have been at the top of her 2-do list 2 do me, but once she went ahead and got her some she DAMNED sure fucking enjoyed it! EVERY fucking time she wuz with me she fucking dug the hell out of it. I might not get mine's, but B4 I finish with this motherfucker U damned well better believe I wuz finna make her thighs fucking shake like Jell-O!
But that's not WTF I wuz trying 2 talk about with this fucking thing (I am totally confused about how we ever even got here, az a matter of fact), anyway. I wuz trying 2 talk about how I would love 2 have Nevah (I know...I know. How the fuck are U gonna be a hooker named Nevah? Believe me...I have already gone rounds with the bitch over this bullshit) bouncing up and down on my lap with no fucking pants on!
Nope...I don't see that one happening, folks. Even if she did want 2 fuck with me (no worries...she really duzn't) her friendship with my woman puts the kybash on that shit. Becuz this bitch really iz Kimthroughtheoutdoor's friend. 2 fuck this bitch would be fucking wrong on more levels than I even care 2 consider. I know I am an asshole. I know I am a fucking DOG most of the time. I will even go so far az 2 admit that I am not 2 be trusted around anyone's daughters (my own, my parent's and my sister's excluded, naturally) Even I am not az fucked up az all that.
I swear 2 fucking GOD even I am not az fucked up az all that!
